It finally, finally came to me last night when I was reading “GO, Put Your Strength to Work” by Marcus Buckingham. This is the 237th self help book I have read in the last three years, on my quest for my next challenge...so many choices...I could make t-shirts, bike the Erie Canal, sell cookies online, teach history, my brain was perpetually spinning. Marcus wrote that my strengths were “those activities in which I exhibit consistent, near-perfect performance... specific activities at which I do well and for which I still retain a powerful appetite.” Hmmmmm, so much for cookies and t-shirts, something I’m good at and love to do...does reading self-help books count? I kept reading and Marcus said to think back a million years ago to when I was a kid and remember what thrilled me, what did I seek out, what did I go back to again and again.
I closed the book and stared up at the bedroom ceiling. Let’s see...I have a terrible memory but from what I do remember as a kid I was uncoordinated, off key, alternatively shy (around new people) and bossy (with old people), not particularly motivated to succeed, unorganized … oh wait, I forgot was supposed to be thinking of strengths. I blinked and got back on track. Maybe it would be easier if I thought of more recent events. As a grown up I am still shy and bossy but I’m also determined, solitary, curious, thoughtful, organized and predictable. I sounded like Marion the Librarian. And that was it - it hit me like a stack of books. Going to the library was my strength.
Yes, go ahead and laugh - I can’t hear you. It is sad but true, I love going to libraries, all libraries, everywhere. I always have, it’s an obsession that I hide from friends and sometimes even from my family. I currently hold library cards from two huge counties in New York (one where I live and one where I go to grad school) so I can have access to libraries everywhere I go, just yesterday I searched out and visited a new branch (Hamburg) while I waited for my daughter to finish ski camp. I have books next to my bed, on my dining room table, on cd in my car and downloaded on my ipod. For the most part it is a manageable addiction.
I reached back into my memory - YES, I did love the library as a kid, I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I realized I actually had a real strength. I remember the Jamestown Library in 3rd grade, the Kingston Free Library and then the library in Warrenton (we moved several times during my formative library years). Despite my pathetic memory I could suddenly see the wooden doors, glowing interiors, circulation desks and built in shelving. The close musty smell filled my brain as I thought my favorite sections and sunny windows. I think I even remember having my picture taken for the newspaper when I was at the library during elementary school - whoa - this was definitely a good sign, even my memory was cooperating.
So this was it - without a doubt I am a great reader (my degree in English Lit. finally makes itself useful) and I have a bottomless passion for going to the library. Libraries that were a part of my life came flooding back to me..libraries from the many colleges and universities I went to, libraries I dragged my daughter to when she was draggable, even libraries on vacations (besides their obvious history, they are a great free place to hang out while waiting for people and always have clean bathrooms). My holy grail is the library, this is really who I am and what I love - books, magazines, newspapers, learning, peace, comfort, history, thinking, exploring - a place where time stands still and I can be myself, or not. I am a library geek. Phew, it is such a relief to find myself and to see I’m in a great place!
So I won’t be cooking, living green, printing t-shirts, climbing mountains or raising goats during the next year, even thought I would like to try all those things, BUT, even better, I will be going to the library, 365 libraries. I will immerse myself in library lore, culture, history, challenges, architecture and whatever else pops up along the way.
I closed the book and stared up at the bedroom ceiling. Let’s see...I have a terrible memory but from what I do remember as a kid I was uncoordinated, off key, alternatively shy (around new people) and bossy (with old people), not particularly motivated to succeed, unorganized … oh wait, I forgot was supposed to be thinking of strengths. I blinked and got back on track. Maybe it would be easier if I thought of more recent events. As a grown up I am still shy and bossy but I’m also determined, solitary, curious, thoughtful, organized and predictable. I sounded like Marion the Librarian. And that was it - it hit me like a stack of books. Going to the library was my strength.
Yes, go ahead and laugh - I can’t hear you. It is sad but true, I love going to libraries, all libraries, everywhere. I always have, it’s an obsession that I hide from friends and sometimes even from my family. I currently hold library cards from two huge counties in New York (one where I live and one where I go to grad school) so I can have access to libraries everywhere I go, just yesterday I searched out and visited a new branch (Hamburg) while I waited for my daughter to finish ski camp. I have books next to my bed, on my dining room table, on cd in my car and downloaded on my ipod. For the most part it is a manageable addiction.
I reached back into my memory - YES, I did love the library as a kid, I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I realized I actually had a real strength. I remember the Jamestown Library in 3rd grade, the Kingston Free Library and then the library in Warrenton (we moved several times during my formative library years). Despite my pathetic memory I could suddenly see the wooden doors, glowing interiors, circulation desks and built in shelving. The close musty smell filled my brain as I thought my favorite sections and sunny windows. I think I even remember having my picture taken for the newspaper when I was at the library during elementary school - whoa - this was definitely a good sign, even my memory was cooperating.
So this was it - without a doubt I am a great reader (my degree in English Lit. finally makes itself useful) and I have a bottomless passion for going to the library. Libraries that were a part of my life came flooding back to me..libraries from the many colleges and universities I went to, libraries I dragged my daughter to when she was draggable, even libraries on vacations (besides their obvious history, they are a great free place to hang out while waiting for people and always have clean bathrooms). My holy grail is the library, this is really who I am and what I love - books, magazines, newspapers, learning, peace, comfort, history, thinking, exploring - a place where time stands still and I can be myself, or not. I am a library geek. Phew, it is such a relief to find myself and to see I’m in a great place!
So I won’t be cooking, living green, printing t-shirts, climbing mountains or raising goats during the next year, even thought I would like to try all those things, BUT, even better, I will be going to the library, 365 libraries. I will immerse myself in library lore, culture, history, challenges, architecture and whatever else pops up along the way.
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